EJ's Writing ~ Author E.J. Bouinatchova
  • Home
  • About E.J.
  • Events
  • Projects
  • Arts & Crafts
  • Reading
  • Nottablog
  • Famiglia
  • Eve's Folly

Fake Flowers are Not Classy

8/31/2015

0 Comments

 
This month's "Bitter Ex-Florist" Episode is about as useless as a fake flower, sorry. And sorry to those of you who just love fake flowers. I think they're nasty. Not to mention totally inedible. But I had to toss up a sort of fake "Interim" episode since I've been way too busy getting The Book out there. "The Book" being Fresh Cut, the full true story of my life as a florist, in all its absurdity and horror. But hopefully you'll get a few chuckles out of this, and of course, buy my book and make me rich. Right?
So, fake flowers - why bother? I know there are times when you just have to use them. On stage in a play, possibly a film. But those things are already in the and of make-believe, so I think that's okay. But in real life? Yuck. Look, I'm not a big fan of cut flowers anyway, but if you're going to have them, at least appreciate their fragility: that peculiar "zombie half-life" as they sit in your vase of water and spend their last few days trying fruitlessly to be pollinated and propagate the species. 

Give them some love and attention as they sit dying on your kitchen table, and give reverence to the thoughts of mortality and the ephemeral nature of all life in the universe that they should inspire. If that seems to heavy for something you spent $5 n at the grocery store, too bad. Suck it up. Don't try to avoid the inevitable end by acquiring some cheap simulacrum that can't possibly hope to accurately impersonate the beauty of the real thing.

Oh yeah, and don't try to eat them. 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    "Eve A. Floriste"

    If you're on this website, chances are you already know "All About Eve." Who is really author E.J. Bouinatchova: a writer of the strange, dark, funny, and eclectic, a former florist, and a passionate plant-o-phile.

    Archives

    June 2017
    May 2017
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015

    Categories

    All
    Blogging
    Business
    Culture
    Florists
    Flowers
    History
    Holidays
    Nature
    Paganism
    Parenting
    Plants
    Psychology
    Publishing
    Seasons
    Sexuality
    Work
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly