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It's What You Do With It...

11/30/2015

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This month's Bitter Ex-Florist episode addresses the immortal question: What's more important - How long it lasts or what you do with it? Check out my latest vlog post as I ponder this issue, and stumble into clumsy sexual innuendo over and over again.
Florists are always getting bugged about long-lasting flowers. Sure, people hate to waste money on something that's going to croak in a few days, I get that. But I think flowers aggravate people's sense of their own mortality and ultimate powerlessness in the face of the inescapable cycles of life. That may seem like a lot of burden to put on a tiny little flower, but I swear it's true. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Cut flowers are the ultimate symbol of mortality.

Only once did I meet a young lady that straight-up confessed that she hates cut flowers, because she can't stand watching something so beautiful die. I wanted to both cheer and cry at that sentiment. Hooray for understanding the larger context! Boo-Hoo for not being able to appreciate the beauty anyway.

I think that it's not all about being long-lasting: if you appreciate the beauty of something even for a second, it was worth it. Sadly, in the cut flower industry, the most beautiful flowers are often the most fragile. Don't let that deter you. Give yourself over to the pure pleasure of the experience, however fleeting. *Words to live by.*
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Bitter Currency

10/15/2015

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This month's Bitter Ex-Florist episode is all about money, money, money. Is there a subject that causes more bitterness than that? Leading cause of divorce and murder...Why do even bother with it? Oh right, because it makes the freakin' world go 'round.
It's bizarre that florists make crap wages. They need to have talent, skill, and years of experience. But it just doesn't pay off. Maybe because it's a luxury industry in a tough economic time? Join me as I ponder the potential reasons.
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Green, Growing Things

9/30/2015

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I have been contemplating this strange life of mine, and its connection to flowers, plants, and the world of nature. It's true that I have a love-hate relationship with the floral industry. I mean, what do you expect from someone with a Youtube series called  "Dear Bitter Ex-Florist"? But the other big truth is that I love, love, love plants. All the astonishing manifestations of flora on this earth: plants, flowers, fruits, vegetables, trees, mosses, lichens, strange things growing under the sea... I love it all.
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Remember that sense of wonder the first time you picked an apple from a tree? (OK, if you've never picked an apple from a tree, then you have truly missed out). The overwhelming sharp-sweet smell of the fruit, the musty-earthy smell of the bark and leaves - didn't it seem just a bit magical? Well plants, to me, are like that every day. Every time I meet a new plant or see one doing something particularly plucky, it just thrills me. 

I think half the reason I get so frustrated with the floral industry is that it tends to trivialize flowers, and provides no connection to their origin. I genuinely think the world would be a better place if people established a better connection with the natural cycles of plantlife. Plants have a lot to teach us. They are perfect models of growth, death, reproduction, adaptability, perseverance, and renewal.

So, I am officially coming out of the closet as a crazy, plant-loving fool. Join in me in celebrating our friends in the plant world! I'll be tweeting, blogging, and generally blathering about this more soon.

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    "Eve A. Floriste"

    If you're on this website, chances are you already know "All About Eve." Who is really author E.J. Bouinatchova: a writer of the strange, dark, funny, and eclectic, a former florist, and a passionate plant-o-phile.

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